Skype for LDRs

I'm sure that many of you have had to go through periods of long distance relationships in the past or will have to in the future at some point so this blog is aimed at making those times even more enjoyable and fun!

That being said, any of these ideas can be used when you're together too so why not organise a little game night? She's guaranteed to love it! If you haven't heard of Skype yet, climb out from under your rock and download it! Without too much incessant chatter, I'm just going to give you a good list of ideas with some downloadables too. So without delay...

• Pub Quiz - if you guys are regular or even just occasional competitors in your local pub's quiz then I'm sure your girlfriend would appreciate you planning a surprise pub quiz for her over skype! There are three ways of delivering the questions, you can type them out and send them to her, read them out on skype or pre-record you reading out the questions. Because I'm so kind to you guys I've made a quick 4 round quiz including a picture round so that you don't have to! Here's the link to the questions. And the answers. The advantage to using mine or finding one online (although I don't rate these too highly) instead of making your own is that you can both answer the questions and see who knows more! 
• 20 Questions - well we all know what this game is so pick a topic and have fun! 
• Celeb Clues - think of 3-5 clues and share them with your partner. Then they have to work out who you're thinking of from those clues. It's a slight variation on 20 questions but even more fun! Here's an idea of what I mean. This man has been in TV programmes and films. In his most recent film he co-stars with Eric Bana and Olivia Wilde. Despite having some softy roles including playing Nicholas Nickleby in a film adaptation with Anne Hathaway, he's more known for his roles as a cockney football gangster and the vice president of a gang of criminal bikers in America. And the answer is Charlie Hunnam. If you didn't know that, you're missing out on seriously good TV! 
• Scene It - feel free to create your own but if you're feeling lazy then I've uploaded two here and here for you to use. The answers can be found here. Each round has 5 clips.
• Mystery Voices - like the scene it idea, find interviews/clips of voices and put 5 or so together so that your girlfriend has to guess who they are! Because I'm so kind I've done you two here and here. And if you would like the answers then you can find them here.
• Beat The Intro - like we haven't all played this game before! I've made two for you, a Maroon 5 one in honour of their new album release this month and a 90s pop one. The answers can be found here. If you decide to make your own you don't necessarily have to just do the intro, you could just as easily use short snippets from the middle of the song too!
• Pictionary - open paint, share screen, pick a random thing and start drawing. You could even time each of you drawing and total up how long it takes each of you to guess what the other's drawing. Winner is the one who took less time to guess - easy and requires no preparation!
• Online Games - if you have a particularly good internet connection then you could play games against each other whilst on skype so that you can watch each other's faces and enjoy the competition! If it isn't brilliant then you could always just decide to have a game night without skype (or just skype before/after) and fb chat between games instead. Miniclip have a selection of multiplayer games and I definitely know that you can challenge facebook friends in 8 Ball Pool.
• 6 Degrees of Separation - think of a celebrity and try to connect them to another in 6 steps. If you want to make sure that you have an answer for your girlfriend, instead of picking randomly, work backwards. Think of a celebrity, for example Alan Rickman. Then say he was in Harry Potter with John Hurt (Ollivander) who was in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy with Gary Oldman. Gary Oldman was married to Uma Thurman who then married Ethan Hawke. Ethan Hawke was in Training Day with Denzel Washington who was in The Pelican Brief with Julia Roberts. So Julia Roberts to Alan Rickman in 6 steps. It's more fun if you think of random connections, crossing between singers, actors, political figures etc. but that was just an example!

Well there's plenty of ideas there to keep you going for a while. A final word - if there's something that your girlfriend is missing out on by being away then try and make that happen for her on Skype. If she's missing the release of her favourite band's CD/favourite actor's film, buy it, rip it and send it to her the day it's released with the promise of her receiving the CD when she gets home. If she's missing out on pub quiz then use the ideas above to make a quiz night for her. And if she's missing out on a gig, plan her an evening dedicated to the band! All that's left for me to say is good luck, have fun and if you try any ideas then let me know at lovefromlila@hotmail.com.

Love from lila xx

The Summer Picnic

This blog is going to give you three very different ideas for picnics and I hope inspire the weather to warm up a little so that you all have a chance to try them out!

Depending on the mood you want to create, time of day, weather, spontaneity and your girlfriend's preferences among many other factors there are 3 main options for picnics. The fancy picnic, the food-filled picnic and the impromptu picnic! I'm not going to talk too much but just give you easy lists of what you need for each one. First here's a list of things you're going to need, mainly for the first two picnics but if you wanted to then you could work them into the impromptu picnic too.

• A Picnic Blanket - pretty self explanatory. If you don't want to buy one then you could improvise with a dust sheet (used when decorating a house to protect furniture), a magazine/newspaper, chair cushions or an old towel/beach towel. If you're happy to buy one then here are a few for you. A coloured stripy one from Argos or a classic blue one again from Argos and finally another classic blue one from the AA on Amazon.
• Plates, Cutlery, Cups - in most supermarkets at the moment you'll be able to find picnicware easily. You could also buy patterned/plain disposable tableware so have a think whether you'd prefer plastic or disposable. I did have a look around and couldn't find an awful lot on the internet but if you head into your local high street then I'm sure that you'll be able to find something there. Failing that a quick trip to Poundland should get you everything you need!
• A Basket/Cooler Bag/Standard Bag - if you're cool enough to own a picnic hamper then it's a definite must but if not then a cooler bag or just a reusable carrier bag/tote would be just as good. Whichever option you choose it might be a good idea, especially if the weather's particularly hot, to have some of those ice packs in there too to keep everything extra cool for as long as possible.

If you're planning to make a whole afternoon out of it then you may also like to use a combination of the following items...

• Card Games - a deck of cards, uno, monopoly deal etc. would all be fun to bring along.
• Board Games - it's best not to bring anything too large or heavy with lots of small parts but something like twister would certainly liven up the afternoon!
• 'Sports Games' - all I really mean by this is something like a frisbee, rugby ball, football, tennis ball or juggling balls that you can throw around together.
• Sun Essentials - suncream, sunglasses and hat are especially important if you don't want to end the evening as lobsters!
• Reading Material - if you can, try and sneak in the book she's currently reading or go out and buy the current edition (if she hasn't already bought it) of her favourite magazine.
• Speakers - if you like to listen to music then you could pop your portable speakers in the bag too. You could even go as far as creating a summer playlist. Here's one from NME but I'm sure you can come up with a slightly more summery one!

Where to go? I've only listed a few ideas here that I'm sure you could have come up with on your own but hopefully there's 1 or 2 that you hadn't thought of. I've included some indoor locations too so that you can have a picnic even if the weather sucks.

• Your Garden
• The Beach
• Your Living Room (here you can have fans blowing, eat ice cream and not worry about carrying everything!)
• A Field
• The Park
• A Zoo, Activity Park - really anywhere that you can visit that is likely to have picnic benches
• Your Car
• Mountain/Hilltop
• Nature Reserve

How to pick the best spot? For sensible reasons it's always a good idea to find a spot in the shade, or at least as shady as you can find. If you do have a windbreaker or parasol then it might be a good idea to bring that too, especially if you know you're going to be somewhere with very little shade (e.g. beach). Try not to pick the wettest patch of grass/sand around otherwise you'll end up with wet bums and that wouldn't be very romantic now would it?

If you're planning to tell her about the picnic then I've made a few 'invitations'/backgrounds that you can use. They will look much better printed onto photo paper if you have any but no worries if you don't. She'll appreciate the picnic just the same! They're not my best work but hopefully with your final touches of where you're going etc. they'll look beautiful!

If you want to keep it a surprise then here a few ideas of how to make that happen.

1. Arrange with your friends to meet up (you can choose to say for a picnic if you like) in the park/at the beach so that she knows where you're going but doesn't suspect that you have anything planned. Also arrange that they have all of your picnic equipment and food and that they set it up before she arrives. Then when you arrive she'll think that you're all having a picnic together, then say hello and goodbye to your friends and sit down and enjoy your picnic. Tips for making this work - ask female friends to organise it, tell your friends that you're arriving 15 minutes earlier than you actually plan to arrive so that you don't catch them setting up or arriving late and give your friends the picnic equipment and food the day before so that she won't think that something fishy's going on.
2. Ask a (female) friend to set up the picnic (then hide and watch it just in case some opportunists stumble upon it), preferably in a slightly secluded place, so that you can just seemingly stumble upon it and surprise her.
3. Ask a (female) friend to look after the picnic basket etc. somewhere near your destination so that your girlfriend thinks you're just going for a stroll and then as you get nearer to your destination, 'oh I just need to pop over to X's houses because I left something there', and pick up your picnic stuff and go and enjoy!
4. For the fancy or impromptu picnics you could also try and hide everything in a rucksack until you get to your destination!

I'm not being sexist but female friends are much more likely to put in the effort to help you than guys are, we're much more romantic and would love to help out!

The Fancy Picnic

This picnic is for the classy girl. Not too many things to buy (and therefore carry if you're planning a long trek or hide if you want it to be a surprise until the last minute!) and more of an afternoon snack than a complete lunch but it can be difficult to pull off effectively if you're not the suave, seductive romantic that all of these chick lit books will have us believe! So what do you need?

• A Bottle of Champagne - it doesn't have to be champagne, it could be something like cava, a nice wine or even something like pink lemonade in fancy glass bottles if she's not a big drinker, nevertheless it should at least look classy.
• Strawberries (and Cream) - a yummy box of fresh strawberries would make a delicious addition to this picnic. If you think you can transport it easily without spillages then some cream might be nice too. Don't forget that if you're having strawberries and cream then you're definitely going to need bowls and spoons, and maybe a little pot of sugar to sprinkle on top!
• Eton Mess - if you don't fancy strawberries then you may like to make up a huge bowl of Eton Mess. The advantage to this is that you can eat straight from the bowl with spoons - sharing, how romantic! If you don't already know how to make Eton Mess then buy some meringue nests from the supermarket along with fresh strawberries and double cream. Crush the meringue into the bowl, hull (remove the leaves and stem) the strawberries and slice in half and scoop in a few spoonfuls of cream. Mix together and add more cream if necessary. If you want to vary it a little you could also add blueberries, blackberries or raspberries (or really any berries!). You could even add some coulis of any flavour  (go to the supermarket and you'll definitely find strawberry and raspberry and perhaps even blackberry) into the mix too to sweeten it up a little.
• Cream Tea - for those of you that don't know, a cream tea is traditionally tea with scones, clotted cream and strawberry jam. If the weather's not too hot that a cup of tea would be horrible then bring some along in a thermos. If it is then you could just bring the scone part of cream tea. If you don't want to make the scones yourself then head along to the supermarket but try to buy the best ones they have. If you have a nice bakery nearby then it's likely that you'll be able to buy scones in there too. To be extra cute you could find a heart shaped cookie cutter/knife and cut the scones into heart shapes before you leave for your picnic! If you would like to make the scones yourself then they're relatively easy to make. The recipe below is one that I've used many times and adapted from the BBC Food recipe. I've added sultanas although you can omit them if you/she are not a fan. Alternatively you could use dried cranberries, blueberries or even mixed fruits (preferably berries as huge chunks of banana aren't going to taste brilliant). Click here to be magically transported to the recipe. (The picture is not mine, I found it in google a while back but now cannot find it to give credit where credit is due.)
• French Stick - and dips. Have a look below and you'll find a list of dips. Buying a nice fresh french stick and bringing along some tasty dips will make a nice change to sandwiches!

The Food-Filled Picnic

This picnic is for the girlfriend who doesn't mind eating! I'll give you a list of all the main things you'll need and some of the little things that would go nicely and show that you've really put the effort into thinking about the picnic.

• Sandwiches - if you're feeling extravagant then instead of using a standard loaf of bread you could buy some fresh french stick or even just some yummy soft rolls from the bakery or supermarket. You could even just cut your sandwiches into funky shapes e.g. hearts. If you plan to do that then it's best to cut off the crusts first. For shaped sandwiches, fillings such as cheese (sliced not grated), ham, tuna, or jam would be best. Some other ideas which would work better for standard sandwiches/rolls include cheese, cheese and pickle, cheese and onion, cheese and ham, cheese ploughmans, cheese salad, ham, ham and tomato, ham salad, ham and mustard, chicken, chicken and pesto (best on something other than standard loaf bread), chicken and mayo, chicken and mayo with sweetcorn, chicken salad, chicken tikka, chicken with bacon and sweetcorn, coronation chicken, beef, beef and tomato, tuna, tuna mayo, tuna and sweetcorn, tuna and cucumber, tuna salad, cucumber, prawn cocktail, egg, egg mayo, PB and jam, jam, peanut butter and nutella.
• Salad - you can either make your own simple salad with lettuce leaves, cucumber and tomatoes or you could buy one. If you wanted to add something extra then you could use sweetcorn, peppers, onion/spring onion, grated carrot, grated apple, grated cheese, radish or beetroot. Alternatively you could try something different like a niçoise, caesar or greek salad which you may be able to buy in the supermarket. If you want to try making your own then clicking on the word will send you to the BBC Food recipes.  If you didn't want a 'lettuce' salad then you could buy/make a garlic or tomato pasta salad, potato salad, cous-cous salad or some coleslaw.
• Extras - I realise that extras is relatively non-descript but I really couldn't think of a better word for the next things so here goes anyway. This could be things like sausage rolls, cocktail sausages, scotch eggs, pork pies, pasties, onion bhajis, samosas, spring rolls, quiche or gala pie. If you know she's a fan then you could even pick up some nice stuffed or marinated olives. You could also add salted peanuts or another nut mix to your shopping list.
• Crisps - another thing to put on the list would be some yummy crisps. You could just get her favourite Walkers or Hula Hoops or you could get some salted or salt and vinegar crisps (Kettle/Red Sky or something similar) and bring along some dips. If you do bring some dips then you could also buy carrot sticks and celery to dip them in too! So which dips? There's salsa, houmous, cheese and chive, guacamole, onion and garlic, taramasalata, soured cream and chive and tzatziki. It's best not to buy too many so just pick 2-3 easy ones like salsa and soured cream and chive.
• Condiments - you don't have to go mad but if you do have sausage rolls etc. then sometimes it's nice to have something to dip them in. I would suggest just boring old ketchup or brown sauce. For the more adventurous among you then sandwich pickle goes nicely with pork pies, sweet chilli sauce also goes nicely with sausage rolls etc., tomato chutney would be nice with most things too as well as mayonnaise, mango chutney and tomato relish.
• Pudding - this is going to be a long list so get ready! You could buy trifle (individual or a large one to share), yoghurts, chocolate mousse, cheesecake, chocolate torte, chocolate eclairs, profiteroles, scones and jam, (fresh cream) victoria sponge, chocolate fudge cake, chocolate brownies, jelly, shortbread, any variety/a mix of biscuits, millionaire shortbread, rocky road, mini rolls, jaffa cakes, cake bars (jaffa cakes,caramel, flake), tiramisu, chocolates, sweets, welshcakes, cookies, chocolate crispy cakes, anything mr. kipling, gingerbread, flapjack, decorated fairy cakes, doughnuts or iced buns. You could even make the eton mess that I wrote about above or something nice and simple like a fruit salad although if you're going to be transporting it to your picnic place then make sure you put it into something that isn't going to leak!
• Drinks - you don't need to be too extravagant, you could just buy a bottle of lemonade, coke, juice, smoothie or water. If you're super-prepared you could make some squash and freeze it if you're expecting a particularly hot day. Regardless of what drink you buy she'll probably give you bonus points if you cool it well in advance so that it's nice and cold when you go to drink it (the ice packs in the cooler/bag will help keep it cold). If you want to buy something a bit more special then you could buy some Appletiser, Shloer, Belvoir lemonade, berry cider or cocktails.

The Impromptu Picnic

This picnic is for the days when you're walking around town and it's surprisingly hot and you think, today would just be great for a picnic. This idea is more expensive than a normal picnic so try and plan ahead and use the above picnic if you can. If you'd rather just take advantage of an unexpectedly hot day and not worry too much about how much it costs then definitely have an impromptu picnic! This works even better if you can surprise your girlfriend with it so tell her you're popping into the shop to buy chewing gum or something and try and get her to wait outside or browse in another shop. Be aware that if you ask her to wait outside and you take too long or she thinks of something that she wants, she will come in and ruin the surprise! If you're lucky she'll be too engrossed in clothes shopping and you can quickly pop to the shop while she's browsing (don't forget to tell her you're going though!).

Here's the quick and easy list of what to pick up.

• Sandwiches
• Crisps
• Chocolate Bar/Bag/Sweets to share
• Drinks

If you want to make it a little bit more fancy then you could keep in mind the ideas above and pick something up if you see it. What you can grab depends on the size of the shop but I'm sure you should be able to find a few ideas from the list above. If you do get things like pasta salads then don't forget to pick up some plastic cutlery too!

Well I hope you've enjoyed and been inspired by some of these ideas. I hope even more that you'll give one of them a try and give her something to tell her friends this summer! So as always, I'll sign off with good luck and please email me (at lovefromlila@hotmail.com) with things that you've tried and pictures of the huge smile on her face as she enjoys the picnic you've set up for her!

Love from lila xx

No Strings Attached.

This blog is going to be about how to bring her favourite (romance) film to life. It's much easier than you think! I've given you a head start with No Strings Attached so if she's a big fan of No Strings Attached then you'll be able to pick up all of the tips in this blog. If not, you will have to use your imagination a little, do a little internet research, or god forbid, watch her favourite film to get quotes and scenes.

I'll start with the standard film related presents and then move onto the more specific, scene related ideas! Don't forget that the scenes are from No Strings Attached but if you watch any of her favourite films you'll be able to find similar situations. The standard film related presents apply to most films.


Standard Presents
These ideas will work for most films so have a look on Amazon and google and I'm sure you'll be able to find lots of stuff. For bigger films, you may even be able to get some cool merchandise. For example if her favourite romance is Twilight then you could get her a tee or if her favourite romance is Tangled then you could get a puzzle (random but cute picture!), the video game (I can't imagine it being amazing but nevertheless it's included for inspiration's sake) or even a personalised book of Beauty and the Beast.

• The DVD/BluRay - too obvious? Regardless, you can find it on Amazon in both DVD and BluRay formats.
• The Soundtrack - most films also release soundtracks too and No Strings Attached is no exception. You can find it easily on Amazon although it's really expensive. I don't know if it's any cheaper on iTunes or even just to download all of the songs individually? The soundtrack's not amazing, it's good but I wouldn't go out of my way to buy it. Perhaps if you look below you could make a period mix? (All will be explained!)
• A Poster - again, not too difficult to find, you can get them on Amazon (portrait warm red or landscape cool blue).
• The Book - to go with the film. Obviously not possible for every film, including No Strings Attached, but still possible. A recent example would be the book One Day by David Nicholls which was quickly accompanied by the film although before you use this as a romantic gift, you may want to watch it first and then reconsider!

Film Specific Presents

Here's where things get really interesting. The following ideas are all things that the main characters did and underneath I'll add a few quotes too just in case you want to use them in cards or letters or quote them to her in appropriate situations! If her favourite film is something other than No Strings Attached and you're going to try and recreate that instead, things to look out for include - gifts between characters, quotes, songs from the soundtrack and funny/romantic scenes.

• Congratulations Balloon - yes, he bought her a congrats balloon for having sex with him!

• Special Dance - I can't write what he did (my mum reads this!) but I am going to post the video of her telling/showing him what he did the previous night when drunk, watch it, and if your girlfriend has a good sense of humour, try it!

• A Bunch of Carrots - instead of a bunch of flowers for Valentines he bought her a bunch of carrots tied with a ribbon!

• Anatomical Heart Card - during the car ride to the first part of their Valentines day date she gave him a card with an anatomically accurate drawing of a heart on it (she's a doctor). Below are a few ideas I've put together for you. I've put up a few different pictures for the front and a few different fonts for the message inside so you can mix and match your favourite ones! If you want to use them print the heart side first onto a thick piece of paper or thin card and then (having worked out which way your printer takes paper and prints) feed the original piece back into the printer and print the inside message - 'You give me premature ventricular contractions' which means 'you make my heart skip a beat'.

 Original picture from here.

 Original picture from here.

 Original picture from here.

 Original picture from here.

• Period Mix and Cakes - such a weird but hilarious idea! You can find the playlist here. Another idea for the girlfriend with a good sense of humour. The cakes are essential too, preferably chocolate, that always makes a bad day better! If you bring cakes for her friends too then brownie points!

• Spoon in Clothes - the final scenes from the film show them happily spooning fully clothed under the covers, it refers to a scene during their 'friendship' where they fall asleep spooning, she gets annoyed and he jokes that 'spooning fully clothed is 10x worse'!

• Grab Her and Kiss Her - again, a closing scene, they're walking together in the park and he grabs her out of the blue and kisses her.

The Date

When he's driving her to the date he gives her a folder with the itinerary for the date including google maps to show her what he has planned. You don't have to do this but it's a cute idea nonetheless.

• Minigolf - if she doesn't beat you anyway, let her win!
• Milkshake - a cute independent restaurant/cafe/milkshake bar would be best but failing that a McDonald's milkshake will suffice. The most important thing? That you share the one milkshake between the two of you!
• Arty Light Display - probably not easy to find however you could try finding an art exhibition or something similar to take her to.
• Dinner - although she leaves before dinner, when they're drinking their milkshake, she asks about the evening and he refers to dinner being later on the itinerary.

Some Quotes

• 'Where are you?' (text message) 'Check Your Underpants' (his friend's recommended reply)
• 'You eat like a baby dinosaur. You don't even chew.' (him to her when they first eat breakfast together at the end of the film)
• 'You can't call me and tell me that you miss me, I don't want to have that conversation on the phone. So you can't text me and you can't email me and you can't write on my wall. Like if you really miss me, you need to grow up and get in your car and come and see me.' (him to her just before the conversation which ended with the next quote)
• 'I'm warning you, if you take one step closer I'm never letting you go.' (him to her just before final kiss and happily ever after)

Well that's all of my scenes and ideas from No Strings Attached. If you're lucky I may cover a few other films in the future but you'll have to wait for those. While you're waiting I hope at least that this post has inspired you to make her favourite film come alive. As always, if you try it or think of any good ideas to add then leave a comment or send me an email at lovefromlila@hotmail.co.uk. Good luck.

Love from lila xx

I Love You.

So the other week I told you all how to send little messages to remind her that you love her in my post about everyday romance tips. Have you tried it or did you forget? Read on to find out the easy way to 'remember'.

As I'm sure you've heard far too many times already, women need to be reminded often that you love them because you men like to keep your feelings to yourself! So the next time you think about her, or think about how much you miss her, or how pretty she is - tell her. Write her a note or bring her a present, it doesn't really matter, as long as she knows what you're thinking. Unless you tell us what you're thinking, we'll never know, and that worries us!

If you have trouble making the connection between thinking about her and then telling her, try putting an alarm on your phone. We know you think about us, but sometimes we like to be reminded and although we'd like it to be sparked by your own memory rather than a phone alarm, as long as you're sharing your feelings, it's a start! So pick a random time in a few days and set an alarm. When it goes off, set another alarm for a different time in a few more days and pick an idea from the list on my other blog post - a text, an email, a little present - and tell her what sprang to your mind first when you thought about her (you might want to leave out the part about the alarm though). You could always make it a regular (rather than random) time and start a little tradition. For example you could pick 11am on Fridays to remind her that you love her and vary it by choosing a different method of showing/telling her every week!

That's how easy it is. So please try it out and when you think of her, try and think to tell her too. We like to know what you're thinking, and unfortunately that means that you're either going to have to show us or tell us. So send a text, leave her a note, or just surprise her with a chocolate bar in her lunch but do it often. If you think of her 100 times a day, tell her 100 times a day (or at least as many times as you remember to when you think it)!

Hopefully that was short and sweet but easy to follow. If you try something, as usual let me know at lovefromlila@hotmail.com. Good luck.

Love from lila xx

Yes Dear.

This is going to be one of those posts under the title of 'Relationship Curiosity'. Just bear with me and hopefully by the end it will all make sense and you may have picked up a thing or two.

On a trip out last week I found a funny postcard which I wanted to share so have a look at the picture below.

Now I also realise that the majority of people reading this don't speak German so let me translate.

3 sentences that guarantee a long and happy marriage.

• Yes dear.
• I'm sorry.
• It was my mistake.

I'm sure it's not the first time you've seen something worded along these lines which suggests that it's actually kind of relevant, don't you think? I had a little ponder about what could really be underneath those three phrases. Added to some internet research I have come to a conclusion - that men listen to their egos more than their woman!

When your girlfriend gets annoyed at you and says 'I asked you to call me when you left work/your house/uni yet you're here but I didn't receive a phone call' do you say:

1. I completely forgot, I'm so sorry. (END)
2. I completely forgot, I'm sorry, but I got distracted/was on the phone to my mum/...
3. I completely forgot. I walked home with X and we got talking/mum called me straight after my lecture so I didn't have time...
4. Why are you grumpy about that, it was only a phone call, it wasn't important?

Bet you didn't think there was going to be a quiz today, did you?! Ok, I'll deal with them in reverse order.

'Why are you grumpy about that, it was only a phone call, it wasn't important?'

• She asked you to do something, you agreed, she got annoyed because you didn't do it. You may not always agree with why your girlfriend is annoyed, but part of being in a relationship means that you accept what the other person feels. So whether you agree or not, you've done something wrong in her eyes. Ignore the fact that you don't agree and apologise for upsetting her. If you really think about it, when your girlfriend brings up an issue, she doesn't say, 'it was wrong when you did that' she probably says 'you annoyed me when you did that' so arguing whether it was wrong or right is irrelevant because that's not what she said!

'I completely forgot. I walked home with X and got distracted.'

• She didn't ask you why so she certainly doesn't want to hear your excuses. She wants to hear you acknowledge her feelings and take responsibility for your actions, after all, you're a responsible adult man, not a boy.

'I completely forgot, I'm sorry, but I got distracted...'

• You nearly fixed it. Any sentence that starts, 'I'm sorry', and finishes 'but...' is not a real apology. 'I'm sorry' means you're accepting responsibility, 'but' tries to share the blame. The latter negates the former. Either be sorry or don't but don't undermine the value of I'm sorry with excuses.

'I completely forgot, I'm so sorry.'

• When you've reached a point where you can accept that the issue is that you've upset her, not the validity you place on the issue, then this sentence will make complete sense. You've upset her, you love her and don't want her to be upset, therefore you're sorry that you upset her. Simple.

How does that tie into the postcard above? I'll admit that 'yes dear' isn't wholly relevant here. The other two phrases however are really important here. By saying 'I'm sorry' and NOT giving excuses, you're admitting your culpability and effectively saying 'It was my mistake'. That's all we want to really hear. We've told you something's upset us, we expect you to LISTEN (yep, listen!) to us and accept and acknowledge that you've upset us.

The conclusion of my thoughts and research about this postcard and these phrases was that 'men listen to their egos more than their women'. What I mean is that you're more interested in being right than acknowledging our feelings. Your insistence on providing excuses is just your ego's way of saying, 'I'm not wrong'. I hope that if you think about it you'll agree that your girlfriend is more important than your ego, so the next time she says that you did something wrong, ignore your ego screaming to defend itself and just listen to your girlfriend. (If you want to read a short article about how your ego can ruin your relationship then you can find one here, it's not amazing but I'm sure you can take something from it). The most important thing however is remembering, in the heat of an argument, to ignore your ego and listen to your girlfriend instead.

I really hope you found at least one thing useful in this post, I know it wasn't exciting but it was important. So start listening to your girlfriends and tell your ego to get lost!

Love from lila xx