The Six Stages of a Relationship

If you've ever thought about how a relationship develops, read on for the six stages involved.

I found this article in the News of the World (I know, it doesn't really sell it but bear with me!) about a year or so ago and it's by Tracey Cox who writes a lot of sex and relationship books. If you want to have a look at her work then you'll find more information on Google and Amazon. I've typed up the article word for word but unfortunately I don't have the date so I can't reference it properly. This is how the article went...


'While each and every relationship is unique, most of them move through the same love stages. Knowing what to expect, and when, can help you through potential pitfalls.

• Honeymoon: Anywhere from the first date to three months. The gooey, soppy, lovey-dovey stage. You're driven by primal urges and your brains are flooded with love and sex hormones.
• Fantasy: Around two months in. Heavy idealising is still going on. Neither of you can find fault with each other and imagine you're the rare couple who don't have any problems.
• Coupledom: Three to six months in. The bit where things start going wrong. Friends start to give true opinions, white lies get exposed. You start to see reality, rather than airbrushed versions of each other.
• Confusion: Six months to one year. Instead of focusing on good points, you now focus on each other's faults. You feel less smug. Both of you think the other has changed. You haven't - you're just seeing each other from a different perspective.
• Readjustment: One to two years in. You finally see each other as "wholes", made up of good and bad parts. If commitment's there, you start compromising.
• Commitment: Three to five years. Most will make a public statement of togetherness (marriage, kids, moving in). Real commitment based on experiences rather than fantasies.'

I hope this has been helpful and given you a little insight into how relationships progress so that you can understand what's happening and deal with the different stages as they come.

Love from lila xx

Berry Tartlets

Fancy a yummy summer treat? You could even make them as a surprise for your lady! Read on to find out how...

These yummy tarts are made up of a shortcrust pastry base covered with a white chocolate ganache and topped with berries (and strawberry sauce).


Here are the ingredients you'll need to make 6 tartlets:

• 1 Pack of (Sweet) Shortcrust Pastry - either ready rolled or a block.
• 200g White Chocolate
• 175ml Double Cream
• 400g Strawberries
• 200g Raspberries

You can also serve it with strawberry sauce or spread some jam on top of the ganache if you like.

For the strawberry sauce you'll need:

• 400g Strawberries, stalks removed
• 50g Sugar
• 1 tsp Lemon Juice
• 1 tsp Vanilla Extract

The instructions are really easy to follow and with pre-made pastry, even easier and quick to make! Here we go...

1. If you didn't buy pre-rolled pastry, roll out your pastry to 3mm thickness.
2. Grease six 9cm tartlet tins.
3. To line the tin with pastry there are two options. One piece - cut out a 13cm circle of pastry and place over the tin pressing it carefully into the corners and grooves of the tin. Two pieces - draw around the bottom of the tin, cut that out and press down. Then cut out strips of pastry and cover the sides, pressing the edges together carefully.
4. Prick the bases and chill for 15 minutes.
5. Preheat the oven to fan 180°c/conventional 200°c/gas 6.
6. Cut out foil circles to the size of your tartlet bottoms and grease.
7. Place into the tarts and bake for 7-8 minutes.
8. Remove the tin foil and bake for another 3-4 minutes until the tarts have browned nicely.
9. Let them cool in the tins. When they are cool, remove from the tins (to make sure they will come out!) and replace them.
10. Whilst the tarts are cooking, chop the chocolate into very small pieces and place into a bowl.
11. Place the cream in a saucepan and heat until it's almost boiling.
12. Pour it onto the chocolate and stir until everything has mixed.
13. Place in the fridge for 8-12 minutes without stirring it.
14. Pour this into the tarts and return to the fridge until the ganache has solidified (this could take quite a few hours).
15. Remove them from the fridge 30 minutes before required and allow to come to room temperature.
16. If you're serving with jam, spread the jam before you leave it to come to room temperature.
17. Wash the fruit, leaving the raspberries whole but cutting the strawberries into quarters.
18. Add them to the top of the tarts.
19. Drizzle with the sauce if you've chosen to make it!
20. Serve to a delighted girlfriend/boyfriend!

If you want to make the strawberry sauce then follow these super easy instructions!

1. Place all of the ingredients (from above) into a saucepan and bring to the boil.
2. Reduce the heat and simmer for 5 minutes.
3. Puree the ingredients either with a hand blender, small blender or a food mixer.
4. Strain the sauce and transfer to a bowl/jar.

The tart recipe was adapted from a BBC Food Recipe and the sauce was adapted from Group Recipes.
Want to see how mine turned out?

I hope you and your partner enjoy them.

Love from lila xx

Love Vouchers

If you think your girl deserves a treat, why not write her some love vouchers?

I've been thinking about this post for ages now and decided that now is the time to get these vouchers out there. So I'll make it nice and easy for you. Here's what you need to do.

1. Decide what she deserves from the list below or think of your own treat.

Things you could treat her to include...

• A Massage
• A Hug
• A Kiss
• Control of the Remote
• Breakfast in Bed
• Home-cooked Meal
• Romantic Stroll
• Dinner Date
• Movie
• A Guilt Free Night Out with Friends
• Slave for the Day
• Not Having to Wash Up
• Bag Carrier for a Shopping Trip
• Snuggle on the Sofa in PJs
• Bubble Bath
• 1 Hour of Undisturbed Reading
• Wild Card - let her decide!

If you decide to think of your own then the only requirement is that you need to pick something that she doesn't normally get to do or have. I like to point out the obvious!

2. Print off the design that you like.

As usual I'd suggest printing them onto card and if you don't like the size then resize them before you print. To download them just right click the picture and choose 'save as'.

3. Write her treat onto the voucher.

Once you've decided which treat(s) you're going to give her and printed off your favourite design, all you need to do is write the treat onto the voucher. I told you it was easy! If you're giving her a card for the occasion or moment then you could slip them inside the card. If not, buy a nice envelope either coloured or plain from a stationery shop and present them to her in that.

Good luck and I hope she loves her treats.

Love from lila xx

You Look Nice!

Have you ever said that and been met with a relatively unsatisfied and probably very sarcastic 'thanks' from your girlfriend? No girl wants to be described as looking 'nice' after she's just spent hours fixing her hair, make-up and outfit! If you think you need some ideas on how to phrase what you want to say then read on!

So your girlfriend has spent all afternoon showering, shaving/waxing, doing her hair, fixing her make-up and trying on, taking off and finally deciding on an outfit. She comes downstairs to show off her effort and see what you think and you say 'You look nice' (as you look up from and then quickly back to your XBox) and she seems more than a little annoyed by that statement. Cue an argument and a rather unhappy evening? If she's come downstairs with a smile on her face looking really confident then she's happy with her outfit and thinks she looks really pretty. If you then say 'you look nice' then she's going to be a little disappointed and it's going to throw her confidence a little. If she's not looking too confident and isn't satisfied with her outfit, a little assurance from you could really help her out so as long as she's not wearing anything really hideous, then make sure you tell her how good she looks!

What words should you be wary of then? Nice is definitely a no go but cute is also a word that you should use sparingly. When a woman's spent all day getting ready, she's not going for 'cute'. She's a woman and wants to be seen as one! What does she really want to hear then? On an everyday basis, she needs to know that you think she's beautiful, because she is, isn't she! From first thing in the morning through to last thing at night when she's so tired that she can't even keep her eyes open, when she's sick, when she's crying and when she's just generally having a down day (*coughs* don't forget to tell her that too!). For those times when she's put in extra special effort she needs to feel that she looks exceptionally beautiful. If you're not sure whether she's put in extra effort then here are some clues - she's asking what you think of her outfit or how she looks, she's spent hours in the bathroom, she's standing there in something other than her daily outfit waiting for you to say something or she's pre-warned you that she's spent all day getting ready!

Everyday Adjectives: beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, good-looking, lovely, pretty.
Exceptional Adjectives: exceptionally beautiful, stunning, amazing, sensational, incredible, breathtaking, mind-blowing, drop-dead gorgeous, irresistible, ravishing, awesome, fabulous, fantastic.

Just remember not to seem surprised that she looks so exceptionally beautiful. Of course you can say wow and look impressed, but it shouldn't be so unbelievable that she looks so good. Although obviously if you thought that she couldn't get any more beautiful then you're allowed to be a little surprised, just make sure that you tell her that!

If she's having one of those days when her hair, make-up and outfit just don't seem to be perfect (to her) make sure that you reassure her that she still looks beautiful because as a female there are days when she'll never be satisfied with her outfit even though she still looks amazing, and she needs you to make her believe that she's looking brilliant. If she's wearing a really hideous outfit then you need to tactfully suggest that she wear something else and reassure her that she looks even more beautiful in the new outfit.


I hope this helped you out and as always, good luck!

Love from lila xx

Female Indecisiveness

Do you ever wonder why your girlfriend refuses to make decisions? As far as feminism has come and as much as your girlfriend values being treated equally, sometimes it's nice for her to have the decision made for her.

Have you ever had a situation where your girlfriend seems like she doesn't want to make a decision and keeps throwing it back to you to decide? Perhaps she's trying to tell you that she's happy for you, or even wants you to make the decision. She might even secretly like you to make the decisions all the time but doesn't want to lose that 'modern emancipated female' thing.

Be brave. The next time you have one of those, 'no, you choose' moments, choose! If you're worried that she won't like your decision, don't be. She's probably already made up her mind and will tell you if your decision doesn't match hers. If she happily agrees then score one for male decision making and mind reading! If she says she'd rather go somewhere else then she's probably just having a chicken day rather than a pizza one, or a cinema one instead of a zoo one, so don't be disheartened. Keep trying - after all, practice makes perfect!

Love from lila xx