Remember the Date

Always wonder what to buy someone to remember a special day or date? Why not make them a photo frame with the date and something to note what happened?

This was an idea I used to celebrate my boyfriend's graduation so I chose the date and his name with the letters he'd earnt from graduating. You could also use this for an anniversary, a wedding, a birthday or even an achievement. It's simple to create but looks really effective and is a lovely way to remember the date.

Here is the design of the page before it went into the frame. His name is blocked out for obvious reasons!

Because I'm so good to you guys I've designed some backgrounds that you can use for your frames. As they're all quite heavy on the colour you may prefer to print them onto card or photo paper to make them look their best. If you're using publisher then you should be able to recolour the picture to anything you want. It would work brilliantly if you could tint the background to her favourite colour - just a little suggestion!

 

To make it look even more professional I backed the printed page with some black paper (to coordinate with the text) before putting it into a frame with a mount. The mount really makes it look all the more special. I bought the frame for a really good price at Wilkinson here (with mount).

If you like the idea and put some effort into it, this is what you should end up with. I hope you'll agree that it looks quite impressive and is a great present that can be put up on a wall so that a special day is never forgotten. The blanked out section shows his name with the new letters he achieved after graduating. You could put both of your names with your anniversary date or the names of the bride and groom with their wedding date. The possibilities are endless and the results are fantastic (if I do say so myself!).

If you're curious about how it looked when it was wrapped then have a look below for the simple wrapping paper I designed.

As I always say, good luck and please email me if you have any questions or want to show and tell me how you've done!

Love from lila xx

National Cupcake Week

You may or may not already know that this week is national cupcake week. What you may not know is why I'm talking about it and how it relates to romance! So why not read on and see how cupcakes can bring a little romance to your relationship?

You know that I like to make life easy for you guys so I'm not going to give you a huge long, complicated recipe for making cakes. Just head to the supermarket and pick yourself up a packet cupcake mix and get inspired. I've made six easy cupcake designs that shouldn't need too much effort to create but should wow your girlfriend!

These are the cupcakes that I made using a Betty Crocker chocolate cupcakes packet mix. I bought some pretty cupcake cases and after cooking the cupcakes in the plain cases from the box I added the pretty cases. Now I'll run through each cupcake individually to show you how easy it is to create beautiful looking cupcakes!

• The front left hand side cupcake is just topped with the white chocolate chunks from the packet mix. You could even cut out a little heart shape from cardboard and sprinkle the topping into a heart shape.
• The front right hand side cupcake is topped with fresh strawberries, raspberries and blueberries.
• The middle left hand side cupcake is topped with dried strawberries (from Waitrose or specialty cake decorating shops).
• The middle right hand side cupcake is topped with a curly wurly that has been refrigerated and cut up. You could use any chocolate bar at all though and using her favourite bar would be particularly clever!
• The back left hand side cupcake is topped with a crumbled up cookie but you could use any of her favourite biscuits or cookies.
• and the back right hand side cupcake is topped with a single strawberry and sprinkled with icing sugar.

So if you can take an hour out of your day to make some beautiful cupcakes for your beautiful girlfriend then I know that she'll be impressed and think it's incredibly romantic! Good luck.

Love from lila xx

Another Present Idea!

Feel a little lost when it comes to present buying for your lady? Read on for a quick and easy present idea...

Starting a collection for your girlfriend is a really cute idea that can become a bit of a tradition for the two of you that she'll absolutely love! If your girlfriend already has a collection then it can be a nice touch to continue that collection, showing that you really know her and pay attention to the things she talks about. Whether she already has one or not, it's nice to start a new one, just between the two of you. It doesn't have to be something expensive but should be a nice reminder of your relationship or how well you know each other. If you start a collection for her then continue it whenever you get the chance, it's a great way of knowing what present to buy her before the occasion comes around (I know you boys worry about present buying!). You could even get inventive and see whether you can find something different and unique but still within the same theme every time. The best part is that you can start a secret collection of the present so that you have a supply ready for every present-giving occasion meaning that you don't have to panic every time you need to buy a present because you already have some ready to give! So whether it's purple or heart shaped or dedicated to cupcakes, get collecting and start a new present tradition.

As always, good luck!
Love from lila xx

How Do You Feel?

Does that question fill you with fear? It shouldn't do! Read on and I'll give you a few ideas about how you should answer the question.

Why does that question seem to freak men out so much? If it freaks you out because you don't really know how to answer the question or what she wants you to say then I may have a solution for you. There's nothing confusing or difficult about the question, she just wants to hear how you feel about her, whether you think she's attractive and whether she's important to you because women need to be reassured regularly that you love them and are happy with the relationship. It's even better if you tell her how you feel without being prompted (hint hint).


Here's a few questions that she may be implying with 'how do you feel?' and that you could use to answer her with...

• Do you think I'm attractive?
• Do you love me? (if you've got there already)
• Do you miss me when I'm gone? Do you look forward to seeing me after we've been apart?
• Are you proud to show me off in front of your friends? Do you think that they think you're lucky?
• Do you see me in your future? Do you look forward to it?
• Do you think you're lucky to be with me?
• Are you happy with me?
• Do you enjoy spending time with me?
• (For those with kids) Do you think I'm a good mum? Are you proud of our family?

The main thing to think about when she asks you is - What does your heart tell you when you look at her? If you keep that in mind and answer that, then you should be able to give her an answer that will make her happy. If you want to know how to phrase some of the things that you might want to tell her then take a look at this post from a few weeks ago.

And a little heads up, just in case. If she's telling you how she feels about you, this would be a really great time to tell her how you feel about her because she's probably sharing her feelings as she's feeling a little insecure and is hoping that you'll share yours too.

So I've sent you off armed with some ideas about how to answer the dreaded 'how do you feel?' question which I hope now isn't quite as dreaded as before. As always, good luck!

Love from lila xx

The Six Stages of a Relationship

If you've ever thought about how a relationship develops, read on for the six stages involved.

I found this article in the News of the World (I know, it doesn't really sell it but bear with me!) about a year or so ago and it's by Tracey Cox who writes a lot of sex and relationship books. If you want to have a look at her work then you'll find more information on Google and Amazon. I've typed up the article word for word but unfortunately I don't have the date so I can't reference it properly. This is how the article went...


'While each and every relationship is unique, most of them move through the same love stages. Knowing what to expect, and when, can help you through potential pitfalls.

• Honeymoon: Anywhere from the first date to three months. The gooey, soppy, lovey-dovey stage. You're driven by primal urges and your brains are flooded with love and sex hormones.
• Fantasy: Around two months in. Heavy idealising is still going on. Neither of you can find fault with each other and imagine you're the rare couple who don't have any problems.
• Coupledom: Three to six months in. The bit where things start going wrong. Friends start to give true opinions, white lies get exposed. You start to see reality, rather than airbrushed versions of each other.
• Confusion: Six months to one year. Instead of focusing on good points, you now focus on each other's faults. You feel less smug. Both of you think the other has changed. You haven't - you're just seeing each other from a different perspective.
• Readjustment: One to two years in. You finally see each other as "wholes", made up of good and bad parts. If commitment's there, you start compromising.
• Commitment: Three to five years. Most will make a public statement of togetherness (marriage, kids, moving in). Real commitment based on experiences rather than fantasies.'

I hope this has been helpful and given you a little insight into how relationships progress so that you can understand what's happening and deal with the different stages as they come.

Love from lila xx

Berry Tartlets

Fancy a yummy summer treat? You could even make them as a surprise for your lady! Read on to find out how...

These yummy tarts are made up of a shortcrust pastry base covered with a white chocolate ganache and topped with berries (and strawberry sauce).


Here are the ingredients you'll need to make 6 tartlets:

• 1 Pack of (Sweet) Shortcrust Pastry - either ready rolled or a block.
• 200g White Chocolate
• 175ml Double Cream
• 400g Strawberries
• 200g Raspberries

You can also serve it with strawberry sauce or spread some jam on top of the ganache if you like.

For the strawberry sauce you'll need:

• 400g Strawberries, stalks removed
• 50g Sugar
• 1 tsp Lemon Juice
• 1 tsp Vanilla Extract

The instructions are really easy to follow and with pre-made pastry, even easier and quick to make! Here we go...

1. If you didn't buy pre-rolled pastry, roll out your pastry to 3mm thickness.
2. Grease six 9cm tartlet tins.
3. To line the tin with pastry there are two options. One piece - cut out a 13cm circle of pastry and place over the tin pressing it carefully into the corners and grooves of the tin. Two pieces - draw around the bottom of the tin, cut that out and press down. Then cut out strips of pastry and cover the sides, pressing the edges together carefully.
4. Prick the bases and chill for 15 minutes.
5. Preheat the oven to fan 180°c/conventional 200°c/gas 6.
6. Cut out foil circles to the size of your tartlet bottoms and grease.
7. Place into the tarts and bake for 7-8 minutes.
8. Remove the tin foil and bake for another 3-4 minutes until the tarts have browned nicely.
9. Let them cool in the tins. When they are cool, remove from the tins (to make sure they will come out!) and replace them.
10. Whilst the tarts are cooking, chop the chocolate into very small pieces and place into a bowl.
11. Place the cream in a saucepan and heat until it's almost boiling.
12. Pour it onto the chocolate and stir until everything has mixed.
13. Place in the fridge for 8-12 minutes without stirring it.
14. Pour this into the tarts and return to the fridge until the ganache has solidified (this could take quite a few hours).
15. Remove them from the fridge 30 minutes before required and allow to come to room temperature.
16. If you're serving with jam, spread the jam before you leave it to come to room temperature.
17. Wash the fruit, leaving the raspberries whole but cutting the strawberries into quarters.
18. Add them to the top of the tarts.
19. Drizzle with the sauce if you've chosen to make it!
20. Serve to a delighted girlfriend/boyfriend!

If you want to make the strawberry sauce then follow these super easy instructions!

1. Place all of the ingredients (from above) into a saucepan and bring to the boil.
2. Reduce the heat and simmer for 5 minutes.
3. Puree the ingredients either with a hand blender, small blender or a food mixer.
4. Strain the sauce and transfer to a bowl/jar.

The tart recipe was adapted from a BBC Food Recipe and the sauce was adapted from Group Recipes.
Want to see how mine turned out?

I hope you and your partner enjoy them.

Love from lila xx

Love Vouchers

If you think your girl deserves a treat, why not write her some love vouchers?

I've been thinking about this post for ages now and decided that now is the time to get these vouchers out there. So I'll make it nice and easy for you. Here's what you need to do.

1. Decide what she deserves from the list below or think of your own treat.

Things you could treat her to include...

• A Massage
• A Hug
• A Kiss
• Control of the Remote
• Breakfast in Bed
• Home-cooked Meal
• Romantic Stroll
• Dinner Date
• Movie
• A Guilt Free Night Out with Friends
• Slave for the Day
• Not Having to Wash Up
• Bag Carrier for a Shopping Trip
• Snuggle on the Sofa in PJs
• Bubble Bath
• 1 Hour of Undisturbed Reading
• Wild Card - let her decide!

If you decide to think of your own then the only requirement is that you need to pick something that she doesn't normally get to do or have. I like to point out the obvious!

2. Print off the design that you like.

As usual I'd suggest printing them onto card and if you don't like the size then resize them before you print. To download them just right click the picture and choose 'save as'.

3. Write her treat onto the voucher.

Once you've decided which treat(s) you're going to give her and printed off your favourite design, all you need to do is write the treat onto the voucher. I told you it was easy! If you're giving her a card for the occasion or moment then you could slip them inside the card. If not, buy a nice envelope either coloured or plain from a stationery shop and present them to her in that.

Good luck and I hope she loves her treats.

Love from lila xx

You Look Nice!

Have you ever said that and been met with a relatively unsatisfied and probably very sarcastic 'thanks' from your girlfriend? No girl wants to be described as looking 'nice' after she's just spent hours fixing her hair, make-up and outfit! If you think you need some ideas on how to phrase what you want to say then read on!

So your girlfriend has spent all afternoon showering, shaving/waxing, doing her hair, fixing her make-up and trying on, taking off and finally deciding on an outfit. She comes downstairs to show off her effort and see what you think and you say 'You look nice' (as you look up from and then quickly back to your XBox) and she seems more than a little annoyed by that statement. Cue an argument and a rather unhappy evening? If she's come downstairs with a smile on her face looking really confident then she's happy with her outfit and thinks she looks really pretty. If you then say 'you look nice' then she's going to be a little disappointed and it's going to throw her confidence a little. If she's not looking too confident and isn't satisfied with her outfit, a little assurance from you could really help her out so as long as she's not wearing anything really hideous, then make sure you tell her how good she looks!

What words should you be wary of then? Nice is definitely a no go but cute is also a word that you should use sparingly. When a woman's spent all day getting ready, she's not going for 'cute'. She's a woman and wants to be seen as one! What does she really want to hear then? On an everyday basis, she needs to know that you think she's beautiful, because she is, isn't she! From first thing in the morning through to last thing at night when she's so tired that she can't even keep her eyes open, when she's sick, when she's crying and when she's just generally having a down day (*coughs* don't forget to tell her that too!). For those times when she's put in extra special effort she needs to feel that she looks exceptionally beautiful. If you're not sure whether she's put in extra effort then here are some clues - she's asking what you think of her outfit or how she looks, she's spent hours in the bathroom, she's standing there in something other than her daily outfit waiting for you to say something or she's pre-warned you that she's spent all day getting ready!

Everyday Adjectives: beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, good-looking, lovely, pretty.
Exceptional Adjectives: exceptionally beautiful, stunning, amazing, sensational, incredible, breathtaking, mind-blowing, drop-dead gorgeous, irresistible, ravishing, awesome, fabulous, fantastic.

Just remember not to seem surprised that she looks so exceptionally beautiful. Of course you can say wow and look impressed, but it shouldn't be so unbelievable that she looks so good. Although obviously if you thought that she couldn't get any more beautiful then you're allowed to be a little surprised, just make sure that you tell her that!

If she's having one of those days when her hair, make-up and outfit just don't seem to be perfect (to her) make sure that you reassure her that she still looks beautiful because as a female there are days when she'll never be satisfied with her outfit even though she still looks amazing, and she needs you to make her believe that she's looking brilliant. If she's wearing a really hideous outfit then you need to tactfully suggest that she wear something else and reassure her that she looks even more beautiful in the new outfit.


I hope this helped you out and as always, good luck!

Love from lila xx

Female Indecisiveness

Do you ever wonder why your girlfriend refuses to make decisions? As far as feminism has come and as much as your girlfriend values being treated equally, sometimes it's nice for her to have the decision made for her.

Have you ever had a situation where your girlfriend seems like she doesn't want to make a decision and keeps throwing it back to you to decide? Perhaps she's trying to tell you that she's happy for you, or even wants you to make the decision. She might even secretly like you to make the decisions all the time but doesn't want to lose that 'modern emancipated female' thing.

Be brave. The next time you have one of those, 'no, you choose' moments, choose! If you're worried that she won't like your decision, don't be. She's probably already made up her mind and will tell you if your decision doesn't match hers. If she happily agrees then score one for male decision making and mind reading! If she says she'd rather go somewhere else then she's probably just having a chicken day rather than a pizza one, or a cinema one instead of a zoo one, so don't be disheartened. Keep trying - after all, practice makes perfect!

Love from lila xx

Are Men From Mars?

Although many of you may not be a big fan of the 'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus' philosophy, John Gray's ideas at least form a starting block for understanding each other better. Read on for a (very) small look at the different 'love needs' of men and women.

What women need...
1. Caring
2. Understanding
3. Respect
4. Devotion
5. Validation
6. Reassurance

What men need...
1. Trust
2. Acceptance
3. Appreciation
4. Admiration
5. Approval
6. Encouragement

The two sets are also listed to correspond with one another. So where women need care, men need trust. Where women need understanding, men need acceptance and so on.

I'm guessing that you're all a little confused about why I've chosen to natter on about this today? Well I thought that it might give you a little insight into how men and women work and how you can use that to improve your relationship and communication. To give you a little idea I'll explain a bit more about the 6 pairs of needs, all of which work in a cyclical way where a man caring for a woman increases her trust for him and this trust for him increases his care for her.


Caring - Trust
Women feel cared for when men ask after a woman's feelings and show concern for her well-being. A man feels trusted when the woman shows him that she understands that he's doing everything with her best interests in mind.

Female mistake: trying to improve him or offering unsolicited advice.
Male mistake: not listening to her or getting distracted.


Understanding - Acceptance
Women feel understood when their opinions and feelings are listened to and a man makes an effort to make sure that he understands them. Men feel accepted when a woman doesn't try to change him.

Female mistake: trying to change him by expressing negative feelings.
Male mistake: taking her feelings literally and offering solutions to her problems.


Respect - Appreciation
Women feel respected when a man prioritises her rights, wishes, needs, thoughts and feelings. When a woman acknowledges that she has gained from a man's actions, he will feel appreciated.

Female mistake: not acknowledging things he has done and complaining about things he hasn't done.
Male mistake: listening to her feelings but then blaming her for bringing you down.


Devotion - Admiration
Women feel a man's devotion when he commits himself to supporting and fulfilling her and prioritises her needs and feelings above all other aspects of his life. A man feels admired when a woman is amazed by his characteristics or talents.

Female mistake: correcting his behaviour as if he were a child.
Male mistake: not prioritising her above everything else.


Validation - Approval
A woman feels validated when a man accepts her feelings and does not argue with them. A man sees a woman's approval when she acknowledges the goodness of him and his reasons.

Female mistake: expressing her upset feelings indirectly with rhetorical questions like 'How could you do that?'
Male mistake: when she is upset, telling her why she is wrong and shouldn't be upset.


Reassurance - Encouragement
When a man repeatedly shows his care, understanding, respect, devotion and validation to a woman, she feels reassured that she is loved. A man feels encouraged by her trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration and approval to be the best that he can be.

Female mistake: correcting or criticising his decisions or initiatives.
Male mistake: after listening, saying nothing or walking away.


Like always, I hope this post has been useful to you and at least provides a starting point for you to think about your communication with your partner and how different your needs are. The ideas aren't mine but come from 'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus' by John Gray. If you want to have a closer look at some of his ideas then I'd recommend it and you can find it on Amazon here. Good luck!

Love from lila xx

Summer Reads

If your girlfriend's planning a holiday this summer, with or without you, why not send her off with a new book and a cute bookmark? Read on...

I'll start with the bookmarks that I made for you to download and then I'll give you a few suggestions of good books that she might enjoy.

I'd suggest printing the bookmarks onto a thick card so that they will last a long time. If you think that you'll have trouble printing onto thick card then you could print onto thin card, cut it out and then stick onto a slightly larger piece of thick coloured card. Whichever you choose the cut out line is the outside one with rounded edges. The box around the rounded edges is just so that you leave enough space should you print more than one. If you have access to a laminator then it would be even better if you could laminate the bookmarks so that they last even longer!

If you wanted to make it extra pretty you could punch a whole in the top and tie a thin piece of ribbon through it. To make this knot get a small piece of string/ribbon/twine and feed it through the hole. Bring the strands together so that the punched hole is at the middle point of the ribbon. Now loop the strands around a finger or two to make a circle and feed the ribbon through the centre of the hole. Following the instructions should leave you with something that looks like the picture below. If you wanted to add a little bow then punch two holes and tie a standard bow in the middle.

Now as promised is a list of good books that your girlfriend might enjoy reading while relaxed on the beach! All of them are ones that I've read, some are romance, some are comedy and some are thrillers. The author's name is in brackets. I've linked each book to its listing on Amazon so that it's nice and easy to find!

• Poppadom Preach (Almas Khan) - a funny but dark book about life in a dysfunctional family in Bradford. There's some bad language in places but that doesn't make you think any less of the book because it's just hilarious!
• Private (James Patterson) - this is the first in a series of books about a detective agency with some nice twists and turns along the way. 
• How To Kill Your Husband (Kathy Lette) - an entertaining book about one woman getting accused of murdering her husband. The twist at the end is brilliant!
• Perfect Timing (Jill Mansell) - a woman meets a guy whilst out on her hen night, calls off her wedding and moves away to London.
• Why Do We Have To Live With Men? (Bernadette Strachan) - after a failed romance the main character moves into a huge farmhouse in the countryside with a group of women for a 6 month break from men.
• Mad About The Boy (Maggie Alderson) - after moving to Australia with her son and husband, her husband comes out and moves in with his boyfriend. She then meets James at the gym and is intrigued by his mysterious activities.
• Playing James (Sarah Mason) - a reporter is sent to shadow a detective in order to write a column. The detective however is not too excited about the prospect!
• Be Mine (Laura Kasischke) - a respected college professor receives a note on Valentines day saying 'Be Mine' and the book follows the chain of events that happen as a result of her response.
• I Take This Man (Valerie Frankel) - after attempting to run out on their wedding, the bride's mum knocks the groom out and imprisons him in the attic of their mansion.
• Sweet Temptation (Lucy Diamond) - after joining a weight loss group the main character meets two other like-minded women and the book follows their laughs and friendship.
• Alphabet Weekends (Elizabeth Noble) - a story about a woman, recently dumped by her boyfriend who makes a plan with her male best friend to try new things for each letter of the alphabet every weekend.

The following list are all Kindle books and are either free or relatively low priced (<£3). It might be nice if you surprised her by downloading them onto her Kindle without her knowing.

• The Fix-It-Man (Donald Wells) - a chick-lit story written by a man! It was entertaining, really cute and interesting to see things from a man's perspective.
• Kissed In Paris (Juliette Sobanet) - a woman finds herself in a Paris hotel room missing her suitcase, passport and travel documents a week before her wedding. With the police after her she teams up with a local to try and make it back home to America in time for her wedding.
• Pear Shaped (Stella Newman) - if your girlfriend likes baking then this book is brilliant. As an employee in the food industry her job is to come up with new recipes (every girl's dream job!), work with the factory to produce them and then taste test them. One night she meets a guy in a bar and thinks she's found Mr Right. At the end of the book is a mini recipe book containing recipes discussed in the book.
• White Lies and Custard Creams (Susan Alison) - a funny story about lodgers, long lost brothers, fortunes and thugs with some nice twists along the way.

I hope my really terrible descriptions (which really don't do the books justice) spark your interest and you find a book that you think your girlfriend will love. I promise that all of the books on this list are really brilliant, even if my descriptions aren't so give them a try! If you have any others that you'd like to suggest then drop me an email at lovefromlila@hotmail.com because I'd love to hear them!

Love from lila xx

Go and Tell Her

Simple instructions for you today...

If she's in the same house as you - get up, walk to her and tell her you love her.
If she's at work nearby - get up, walk to her and tell her you love her.
If she's far away - get up, find your phone, call her and tell her you love her (leave a message if you have to!).

Love from lila xx